Tickle Me Hercules
by Keesha
Summary: A little fluff as the boys joke around.


Slam.

The blonde warrior once again involuntarily embraced the hard mother earth. He didn't bother getting up this time, but instead rolled over, stretched out, put his hands behind his head and contemplated the passing clouds in the sky. His sparring partner dropped to the ground next to him, folding his well-formed legs into a crossed position. He glanced over at his smaller companion. After a few minutes he politely inquired, "Had enough yet?"

The lithe warrior sighed, gracefully rolled into a sitting position, rested his chin on his hands, and studied his big friend. "Not a chance. You think you're so smart tough guy. I know this move can work. I just need to work out the kinks." The hunter stretched mightily, climbed to his feet and turned in a big circle surveying the surroundings.

Iolaus shook his sweat dampened, golden curls out of his sea blue eyes. "I think it is just a matter of leverage. Perhaps a steeper angle of attack." The golden hunter paced about the clearing, crackling with pent-up energy. "Yes, that is it. And- aha- a change of feet. Yes, yes this is great. This will work. Can't lose. The dominant foot used as the spring point. Of course, that means the kick won't be as hard- cause it is not the dominant foot you know- but with the thrust- and the counter balance from the arms- the arms. Now there's a thought. If I flung the arm in an opposite reaction to the foot, thereby increasing the forward momentum-

"Iolaus?"

"-acting as a dead weight against the-"

"Iolaus!"

"-angle of attack, thereby-"

"Iolaus!"

The warrior stopped pacing, blinked a few times and looked down at his partner. "What?"

"You're babbling."

Iolaus stared blankly at his friend.

"You haven't been out in any lightening storms again have you?"

"Oh yeah, ha, ha, very funny. Now get up and let's try this again."

"Iolaus?" Hercules said as he climbed to his feet.

"What now?"

"Do you feel a draft?" he asked, a small smile playing about his lips.

"Draft?"

"Hm-hm" he replied, the smile giving way to a snicker.

"Herc, I don't feel like playing twenty questions. What are you talking about?"

Hercules placed a serious look on his face. "You have- a hole."

Iolaus shrugged his shoulders and looked confused.

"In your pants. To be more specific in the seat of your pants. A rather big hole," he said managing to keep a straight face- well almost.

Iolaus tried to look over his shoulder for the hole. He proceeded to turn around and around in a small circle, like a puppy dog chasing his tail, as he valiantly attempted to get a glimpse at this mythical hole. He came to a sudden halt and shook his head dizzily. Changing tactics, he stuck his head between his legs and tried to spot the supposed gaping hole in the posterior of his trousers.

"Oh- and Iolaus?"

The blonde man, his back to Hercules, looked up at him through his legs.

"You really should consider wearing underwear. I can see- well- things.

Iolaus glared at his now chuckling partner, well as much as his rather undignified position would allow. He straightened up and started exploring his nether regions with his fingertips, searching for the offending hole.

"Oh- and Iolaus?"

"What now Herc," he asked rolling his eyes.

"Who are your three favorite Goddesses?"

"More games?" Iolaus gave up searching for the hole, crossed his arms and stared moodily at his buddy.

"Female Goddesses."

"Like, duh Herc. I do know the difference between a God and Goddess. I didn't just fall off the apple cart." Giving a mighty sigh he continued, the hole temporarily forgotten. "Ok, I'll play. My three favorite Goddesses. You know Herc, that is a tough one with all your lovely half-sisters to choose from; and they all have been sooooo nice to me over the years. Oh. Of course. Yes. I know the answer now. My three favorite Goddesses would have to be the lovely Aphrodite, the agile Artemis, and the ever-wise Athena. There did I get the answer right?"

Hercules nodded his head affirmative. Iolaus watched as his friend's gaze shifted once again to something or someone or, he swallowed painfully, someones over his left shoulder.

"Ah Herc?"

Hercules' gaze did not waver as he answered his friend. "Yes?"

"The three aforementioned lovely ladies wouldn't be standing behind me now as we speak would they?" Iolaus asked, his voice moving further and further into the tenor range.

Hercules smiled- slightly.

"And I don't suppose that the hole you mentioned, you know, the one with the, ah, things hanging out of it, has magically gone away has it?"

Hercules' smile got even larger.

"No, I didn't think so." Iolaus shrieked, spun around and backed up to Hercules, using him to shield his backside. His eyes wildly searched the clearing for the three Goddesses.

The shaking chest behind him was his first clue that his goat may have been had. He leaned his head back and looked up at his best friend. Hercules' laughing face greeted his eyes.

Iolaus slowly moved away from his friend who, by now, was laughing hysterically. "Oh yeah, very funny Herc. Ha. Ha. There are no Goddesses are there."

Hercules shook his head no, the tears of mirth running down his face.

"And the hole? A figment of your over-active imagination?"

Hercules was laughing so hard he could barely nod his head yes.

"So this whole thing was a scam, a trick on your old buddy Iolaus?"

Hercules weakly nodded, still too choked up to speak.

A dangerous glint entered Iolaus' eyes. "You want something to laugh about do you big boy? Well, let's turn this around and make the laugh on you. You forget good buddy that I KNOW you better than almost anyone else on earth, and I know what your one weakness is-"

A worried look crept into Hercules' eyes. "Not that-"

"Yes- that."

Hercules started to back up. "No Iolaus. Not THAT. It was just a harmless joke. Not-"

Iolaus launched himself at Hercules. He knocked the laugh-weakened giant to the ground and started to unmercifully tickle him.

"Hey- stop that- hey- that- that- tickles!"

Iolaus would not relent but proceeded to tickle Hercules with more vigor. "Take that you evil demi-god. How does it feel to be overcome by a simple mortal weakness like being ticklish?"

Hercules weakly tried to get Iolaus off of him, but the tickling zapped his strength. "Stop- please-," he gasped. "Anything- anything you want- just stop."

"Are you sorry you tried to trick me?"

"Yes- yes- please- stop."

"And you're never going to trick me again?"

"No never, never again."

Iolaus, grinned and tickled Hercules a little harder, enjoying the feeling of being in control. "Let's see. What else?" he pondered as he continued to tickle his friend. "Do you promise not to make fun of my cooking?"

"Promise- love your cooking."

"And my singing?"

Hercules hesitated and Iolaus tickled him cruelly. "I promise. I promise. Sing any time you want. All the time," the demigod wheezed.

Iolaus sat back on his friend's chest, hands on his hips, laughing. "Well that was fun Hercules."

Hercules grumpily rolled Iolaus off his chest and struggled into a sitting position tears still running down his face. "Fun for whom?" he muttered.

"For me Herc. And you know the sad part? You can't get even. I am not ticklish!" he chirped gleefully. "Now get up and let's work on that move!"

Iolaus started to get up but in his haste, tripped over a log. A loud ripping noise was heard. Iolaus glared at the log as he slowly picked himself up off the ground. He shot a glance over at Hercules. "Don't even go there Herc. I don't want to know about it. Got it? Or else it is gonna be more of tickle me Hercules."

The End


End file.
